If Only
by themonaisa
Summary: "The cold sobs choke her and moisten her face as she lay curled in the middle of their bed, clutching her phone to her chest, hoping he'll call. Hoping it would all be okay. But his tone never came."


_"I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand_  
_Give you all his hours when he has the chance_  
_Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance_  
_Do all the things I should have done when I was your man."_

"That's so sad." muttered Wally as he lowered the volume of the now commercial playing radio station.

The only reply was their car engine's hum as it pushed them through the highway.

Artemis giggled, and as Wally turned to look at her, he noticed her blue eyes glued onto the screen of her phone, her slender fingers tapping a message. "Babe. Baaabeee! Earth to Arty!" "Hmm? Sorry, Raquel's sending me wedding ideas!" she laughs as she holds her phone up to her face, revealing only her excited eyes.

"And how long has she been planning this wedding for", he chuckles, " I mean seriously, when are these people finally gonna tie the knot?" "You want me to ask her?" "Raquel: Wally asks when you're finally gonna get married because he's impatient and we all know he only wants the buffet you were talking about the other day." she types while reading out loud.

It only took seconds for her to reply. "We could all say the same for you guys!" They both laughed at the remark. "Hate to say that she's right." Artemis stated sarcastically.

"Hey! You're go- never mind." "Don't tell me you're going to return my ring Wallace Rudolph West!" she said a little louder, still keeping the sarcasm and a smile never leaving her face.

"I never said anything about a ring!" he squealed. "You didn't need to, Dick told me" she laughed triumphantly. "You'd think he'd know how to keep a secret!" he chuckled.

"It's okay Wall-man" she began, inching closer and poking his stomach with every word, "I'll keep your secret save."

"H-hey! You're not supposed to pester someone while they're driving!" "Then pull over" she whispered seductively and sat back in place.

"Gosh you are such a tease." said Wally with a brilliant smile plastered on his smug face. And with one elbow pinned on the glove compartment sitting between them, Artemis leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"You love me anyways."

_"Artemis he wanted me to tell you..He loved you..." _

The words echoed through her empty skull as her heart beat louder with each passing second, the sound ricocheting off the walls.

She's wearing every possible piece of his clothing, yet his scent doesn't come strong enough.

The cold sobs choke her and moisten her face as she lay curled in the middle of their bed, clutching her phone to her chest, hoping he'll call.

Hoping it would all be okay.

But his tone never came.

And she places it close to her ear as she dials his number and refuses to look at the picture of them completely red with laughter she has as his id.

The line rings and the anticipating silence eats her alive. All she needs is an answer. She imagines his phone is still at the Watchtower, where she left it because what if he comes back for it, and hopes no one decided to take it.

His ridiculous voicemail began, his voice rushing through her, warming her body with every syllable spoken, as if he really were here again.

As soon as it ends, she drops the phone and cries hard enough to make her stomach ache. She wants to throw up all these feelings, all her organs and everything she's ever eaten. She wants to let go of everything so that each piece of Wally can engulf her senses and never let her go.

So she does.

She turns the radio on and purges herself till it aches and she can't handle it anymore, because that's how he went away; that's how he_ ceased_.

_"Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now." the radio croaked. "Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same.." _

And at that instant she broke down.

She fell on her knees and pounded the floor, and yelled till she was sure the cops would come to take her away. But they never came, even after she stopped.

And when she did, she climbed back in bed, placed his pillow behind her head and wrapped the covers from his side tight enough to swallow her whole._ If only_ she thought.

And with that, let her whispered moans sooth her to sleep.


End file.
